The Hardest Part

The hardest part about trying to lose weight, again, isn't that actual work that goes into losing weight. I know what to do, eat right, drink water, exercise. But its the finally admitting to oneself that yes, I'm overweight, in fact I'm obese. It no longer is easier to just call onself fluffy, chubby, bulky, stocky, etc. It's the pure honest fact that I'm fat. I'm not healthy. Being overweight, while it can be emotionally difficult when you don't fit into clothes anymore, you have to shop in the women's department, etc. it was easy. I didn't do anything special and I stayed around the same 5-7 pound range. But once you decide to lose weight, all of the sudden you start looking at other people wondering do I look as large as them, is that thin person criticizing me for being overweight, maybe I should scream I'm working out, I'm shrinking.

Yesterday I realized, yes I'm fat. I admit it to myself and now I admit it to the world. But I'm working on shrinking, pound by pound and inch by inch. Will this hard part become easier now. PRobably not. In fact it'll probably be even more difficult, because I will constantly be comparing myself to others, constantly wishing I was that think cute girl going into the grocery store, wondering if people are watching me jiggle. But at least I know I'm doing something about it, I'm working on being healthy, and day by day, month by month, and yes, year by year the hardest part will vanish into history and I will then just need to remember the hardest part so as to not have to go through it again.

This isn't a momentary passing, this is a lifestyle change and it takes a while to build a lifestyle.